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Tabitha Lenox got the shock of her life when she learned she was in the family way. After all, not only is she a witch...she's centuries old (mind you, she won't reveal exactly how many centuries). But that's not the biggest shock-the father is none other than Julian Crane, one of her most hated enemies! However, despite her reluctance to admit it, Tabitha is excited about her upcoming "bundle of pain." As a result, she's been keeping notes about this special occasion. Read on for exclusive excerpts from Tabitha's Baby Book. And check back for the inside scoop from Harmony's other pregnant ladies Kay, Sheridan and Gwen!
Mother:
What kind of question is this? Considering I'm the one writing
in
this ridiculous book, I must be the mother! Indeed this spawn is one
lucky
devil, for it has none other than Tabitha Lenox as its mum!
Father:
I am loath to say it out loud, let alone write it down for the
world
to see. But I must admit the father is that damnable louse Julian
Crane. If
my Friends in the Basement are smiling down upon me in the least, this
child
will only take after its mother! And if I have my way, Julian will
never be
the wiser that he has yet another illegitimate child floating around
out
there.
Other Nearby Relatives:
It seems my offspring and I will be going it
alone.
While there are more Cranes than necessary living right here in
Harmony,
there is no way I'll allow any of them access to my little bundle of
misery.
And of course, I have no family here in town ever since the untimely
demise
of my beloved Timmy (thanks to that insipid goody-goody Charity). How I
wish
Timmy were alive to experience this with me. He would make one hell of
a big
brother to this new addition. I can only imagine the two of them
sipping
Martimmies together-Timmy from a Martimmy glass and the little one from
a
bottle. The very thought brings tears to my eyes...
Pregnancy Symptoms:
It would be easier to list what I haven't been
afflicted
with since I found myself in the family way. Let's see; I've been
burping
butterflies like they're going out of style. I've spun around like a
top
with no warning. And random body parts have become dislodged from my
body
for no apparent reason. And that's all on a good day. I shudder to
think
what each new morning, noon, and night shall bring.
Cravings:
While mere mortals may crave pickles and ice cream, my
cravings
are much more original. I've had an appetite for plants (of all kinds),
grass, twigs, and wood furniture!
How I've Prepared for the Little One's Arrival:
Does cursing the day I
indulged in Martimmies with Julian Crane count? Other than that, I've
read
"What to Expect When You're Expecting The Unexpected" and "Witch
Pregnancy
for Dummies." And I've kept up with my daily regiment of exercise,
which
consists of lurking around the Bennett house to find any open windows.
My Goals For the Little One:
My goal for you, little one, is that you
reign
supreme as the Prince or Princess of the Dark Side! Is that too much to
ask
for? I think not, considering you are the offspring of the one and only
Tabitha Lenox. And one more thing. May you carry out the revenge I've
been
seeking against the Cranes for hundreds of years-especially against
your
Daddy Dearest, Julian Crane.
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