1) Keep your friends close and your enemies closer -As a witch, I never had any friends before Timmy, so I didn't have to worry about their geographical proximity. But enemies? Well, that's another story...I certainly have enemies to spare! And I always keep close tabs on them. Let's face it; I am a worldly witch who could live wherever her heart desired, but here I am in the sleepy town of Harmony. Why? You figure it out...

2) Always know your potions -Remember when your parents taught you to "never play with your food?" For a witch that old adage is a bit different. We are told never to play with our potions! The results can be dire if a witch unleashes a potion without knowing its full potential. Who could forget the green fog that Cracked Connie and Hecuba released despite my warnings? Those two buttinskys are nowhere to be found and I'm still dealing with the fallout!

3) Stay away from members of the clergy -This little rule should speak for itself. After all, witches and clergy are about as compatible as oil and water. But there's more to it than a simple personality clash. Priests have been known to carry around Holy Water. And when there's Holy Water around, a witch is bound to get burned...literally!

4) Always have a supply of costumes on hand -A witch never knows when she'll need to make a quick getaway. And there's no better way to ensure a successful escape than with a costume! A nun...a taxi driver...Santa Claus...I've been through quite a few incarnations in my day. And as such a master of disguise, my pursuers have been none the wiser that I've eluded them!

5) Keep your eyes open in the shower -Even witches must sometimes fear mortals...especially ones that have a strange attachment to their fathers! Unlike witches who wreak havoc with spells, potions and the like, humans must rely on more primitive means-like axes! As a result, a witch must always be on the lookout for foul play...even in the privacy of her own shower!

6) Never make a warlock mad -Okay, okay so I gave the warlocks out on Warlock Island the wrong scepters and thereby banished them from Earth forever. But was that any reason for them to blacklist me in the manner in which they did? I should say not! After all, everyone makes mistakes. But it all goes to show that hell hath no fury like a warlock scorned!

7) Computers are the enemy - It's not hard to figure out who taught me this lesson-that no-good nerd Ross! Until recently, he was always poking his nose into my business and then running all kinds of facts and figures through that meddlesome machine of his! Thank Hades he hasn't been around lately, but the horror of the handheld computer lives on!

8) Humans can cause just as much pain as witches -One of the gravest mistakes witches have made throughout the centuries has been underestimating their human opponents. The fact is that mere mortals can cause a good deal of pain and suffering. Look at the evidence here in Harmony alone. Beth...Liz...Julian...those three are quite the troublemakers. And they are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the not-so-good citizens of this town!

9) If at first you don't succeed... -If there's one thing that's true about a witch it's that she never gives up. Any wannabe-witch would be wise to learn this lesson, and learn it well. For example, I have been trying for centuries to break up those sappy soul mates Luis and Sheridan. But have I given up, despite the never-ending (and I do mean never-ending) aggravation? Of course not! One of these days I will break up the happy couple for good. After all, throwing Beth and Mrs. Wallace into the mix was a stroke of genius!

10) Trust your instincts -You may have heard of a woman's intuition. Well, that's nothing compared to a witch's intuition! Just recently, I took one look at that Cracked Connie doll that Zombie Charity concocted and I knew she was nothing but trouble. And when you're right, you're right. From the minute that doll from down-under opened her mouth, I wanted to shut it...permanently!